I received one of those mass emails from a friend the other day, updating a group of us on what’s been going on in her life the last couple of months. In it she shared the highlights of her quarter so far up at UC Davis. Describing one of her highlights to us she wrote…
I joined a club called Acorn Mentoring Project where every week a group of UCD students go to a lower income neighborhood in
I have another friend who went down to
Another friend volunteered with an organization called Best Buddies, where she was matched up with someone with intellectual disabilities. They would hang out one on one, grab dinner together, and take part in events like barbecues or bowling. All of this in hopes of being a friend the person could count on and in doing so bettering their lives.
These are just a few examples of people who, as far as I know, don’t really claim to have a relationship with Jesus, and don’t have that to influence the decisions they make, or what they do with their time.
After I read that email I got to thinking a bit and my whole thing is this…
If I did any of these things, I would feel incredibly self-righteous. Here I am believing we’re called to love those who need it the most, and I can’t see myself doing anything without afterwards feeling this false stamp of approval on my heart and my actions. And then there are people who do truly Good things without ever thinking twice about themselves. Hmm… I’m missing something here.
4 comments:
Thanks for being honest and transparent. I will be pondering this throughout the next couple of days.
1 john 3:20
"when our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our heart & knows all things."
the things that we do in the name of the Lord are meant to bring glory to Him & not to ourselves. so when our hearts are in the right place (when we are desiring for those who we help to see the love of Christ, & we are keeping our eyes on the Lord) that is bringing glory to God.
even in those times we may feel in our hearts that we are trying to be self righteous or gain something for ourselves-but remember that our hearts are deceptive & we have an enemy who wants us to feel this way.
but just like that verse in 1john says, GOD IS GREATER THAN OUR HEART, & He knows all things.
read 1 John. seriously. =]
love you brother.
I think you are taking that step of being honest with yourself, as well as us - and that, God is honored.
I just want to remind you, Travis, that although these friends of yours are doing some really far-out, amazing things, which may make you feel like you aren't doing much... you are. The mentor you are to your students is HUGE. When I was in youth ministry, I sometimes found myself feeling like I wasn't doing much in comparison to those in the missions field or something along those lines. However, the truth is, you are. Being as consistent as you are to your students in so much more than what they could ask for. So, in this time, as your sister, I want to remind you that your heart is pure in this, and that your actions reflect that. Keep fighting this great fight.
-bren
I'm right there with you. I always feel incredibly awkward in those situations, like I'm pretending to be something I'm not (masquerading as a giver but not at all feeling like I'm capable of doing so) It seems to come down to the fact that in those moments it's still all about me!
I feel awkward because I'm too concerned with how I appear, or whether I'm doing the exact right thing. I wish I could give back with more reckless abandon, unconcerned with myself, or how I appear. (On the other hand, humility is helpful at times)
Brenda's also got a good point! Many people's philanthropic ventures look romantic from far away, but seem mundane or down right crappy up close, they just choose to focus on the good.
Finally, a suggestion: Aim to give your work in the community that positive perspective (not romantic but just focused on the good stuff) not to conflate your ego, but instead to infect others with the desire to give back. That focus may help alleviate your guilt and turn it into a catalyst for change (someone needs to spread the giving back bug at IHC!!!).
--
Peace,
Matt Gonzales
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